St. Benedict in his words about Lent invites the monastic to
do something ‘extra’ during Lent, something that we offer God of our own free
will and something that is offered in ‘the joy of the Holy Spirit’. And whatever ‘extra’ we offer is to help our
hearts open up a bit more, that is, open up to grace, to the gift of God’s life
that God holds out to each one of us daily.
It is striking that the first reading of the Ash Wednesday liturgy,
begins with the voice of the prophet Joel proclaiming: ‘Rend your hearts and
not your garments’…’Let your hearts be broken’.
What is this telling us? What
moves God is the offering of a heart broken open, that is, a heart ready to
change its ways and to become a vessel of God’s life, compassion, mercy, and hope.
It seems to me then that as we ponder what is the ‘extra’
that we will offer to God this Lent, that our
The process of conversion (which is the main and essential element of
our vow of conversatio) is not one
that is depressing, or one that pulls us down.
On the contrary, once we enter it grace begins to flow…it helps us see
ourselves and one another in a different light…in fact we begin to see more as
God sees. Conversion is a ‘turning from’
and ‘a turning toward’. There are two movements in the conversion process and
one movement precipitates the next. As I
turn from my harsh judgment I turn in prayer towards the mercy of God. As I turn from my selfish, poor me attitude,
I turn towards the heart of Christ, and my heart begins to expand, shaking off
its self-preoccupation and becoming more like his heart, more open and supple
inside and out. When we begin to turn
away from something that we know oppresses us, grace is already working. Conversion removes the ‘veil’ covering our
heart, making us available for transformation and for becoming more like Christ
in mind and heart.
Self-knowledge is pivotal to conversion; it brings awareness
of how we are inside: to whom or towards what is my heart turned? Is my heart one of stone or is it one of flesh? Conversion according to The New Dictionary
of Catholic Spirituality is a ‘turning’: “a turning away from alienation and sin,” and “a turning towards the living God” (p.
231). Its fruit is realized in the
larger community and in our personal lives where we know we have been
re-created, enlightened by the Divine life and in wisdom. Conversion turns us from our present horizon
towards a new horizon, a larger, newer view of life, of God, our selves and one
another. Fr. Bernard Lonergan, SJ
explains conversion “as a set of judgments and decisions that move the human
person from an established horizon into a new horizon of knowing, valuing, and
acting” (p.234). Imagine: an expanded
horizon in our interior life and in our outer lives where we truly see and
apprehend with a new, re-created heart, such is the fruit of conversion.
Right after Jesus’ temptations in the desert, as he begins
his ministry, his proclamation is two-fold:
“The time is now” and “Be changed at the level of heart and mind” (Fully
Human Fully Divine, p.49). Michael
Casey writes: “Jesus offers a new meaning for metanoia: it is a matter of trusting the Good News that God and
sinful humanity are reconciled” (p.49). Conversion
is about transformation: God is waiting our return…this is underscored by Jesus
in the gospel story of the father, who waits with unconditional love the return
of his prodigal son. It is this turning
of the human person that so moves the heart of God…unconditionally.
William of St. Thierry prays: “You the Beginning, to who we
are returning, the Pattern we are following, the Grace by which we are
reconciled” (quoted In the School of Love, p.30). This is a beautiful Trinitarian prayer: and
the ‘Pattern’ we are following, the ‘Pattern’ stamped upon our hearts? Sr. Maria Boulding writes: “In that
brokenness he (Jesus) became the place where the glory of God is revealed…where
the meaning of love is disclosed, the love that holds nothing back” (Gateway
To Resurrection, p.14). This is whom
we are following and, as his disciples, our lives must do as he did: as our
hearts are broken open a little more during this Lent indeed the glory of God
will be revealed and we will rise with Jesus into new life, into new horizons.
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