“I would say that the subject who says ‘Here I am’ bears
witness to the Infinite. It is this
witness, whose truth is neither representational nor perceptual, that produces
the revelation of the Infinite. It is
through this witness that the very glory of the Infinite glorifies itself” (Born
From the Gaze of God, Christophe Lebreton, p. 206). Br. Christophe, martyred monk of the
community of Tibhirine in Algeria, quoted these words of the Jewish
philosopher, Emmanuel Levinas, in his journal less than a month before he was
kidnapped and murdered.
‘Here I am’…How do we pray this? To whom and to what do we address these
words? What intention is behind them and
raises them up to the heart of God?
This simple phrase—‘Here I am’—said from the heart, with heart, through
heart bears witness to the Infinite…How can this be?
‘Here I am’…I am ready to be your vessel of love, of light,
of truth. I am ready with each new day
to walk as you walked. ‘Here I am’…a
sinner and still here for you…for your gospel, for embodying your Way and your
Life. We in our prayer are so often
talking to God…this is good…still we need to step back and receive the silent Word
of God… ‘Here I am’ is a response to the call of God, a response to the
initiative of God.
Keeping in mind that ‘Here I am’ is a response to the Divine
voice, to the Divine initiative, the text I quoted is telling us two
things: when we say ‘here I am’ we are
bearing witness to God…to God’s life in us and in our midst….and secondly it is
saying that this bearing witness through the offering of ourselves is
revelatory…meaning it reveals the Divine face of God in our lives.
As you know we find this phrase in two prominent places in
the Bible: Psalm 39(40) and in the call
of Samuel. In the dialogue with Samuel, God
is calling and Samuel does not realize that it is God calling him; he is
learning (with Eli’s help) how to recognize, how to discern the Divine
voice. Samuel eventually responds by
saying ‘here I am’ and he adds ‘speak Lord your servant is listening’…’Here I
am’ is a response to God’s initial call…we are moved, prodded, prompted to say
‘here I am’ knowing we first have been loved, knowing that we are called into a
relationship. We are called by the One
who seeks us, who longs to become more and more incarnate in our lives…and we
are learning the way and manner that the Divine voice speaks to each of us.
Then Psalm 39: “You,
who wanted no sacrifice or oblation, opened my ear,
you asked no
holocaust or sacrifice for sin;
then I said, ‘Here I am! I am coming’”
(Psalm 40:6)
The initiative of God in psalm 39 is ‘to open the ear’, to
open the ‘ear of the heart’…this heart opening elicits our response: ‘here I
am’…’here I am…I am ready…ready to listen.
Cassian in his Conference #10 on prayer has said that “for
possessing the perpetual awareness of God” (p.379) we need to pray: ‘O God come to my assistance, Lord make haste
to help me.’ Cassian also points out
that this prayer “contains an invocation of God in the face of any crisis”
(p.379). This prayer is an invocation
and is initiated by us: we are calling upon God and waiting a response…however,
even the act of calling upon God in faith begins to bring some inner peace…it
helps to settle what is disturbing our hearts.
The prayer phrase ‘here I am’ is at the same level of importance…It is
as I said already a response to the Divine invitation. Simply feel into what it does inside as we
pray each word: ‘Here…I…am’. It seems to
me that one thing that it does is to topple our egocentricity…we are getting
out of the way and making our lives available for God alone. Another thing I think it does is break open
our ‘small little world’ into the larger perspective of Divine life….the Divine
life that seeks to be incarnate in my life…in the life of this community…’here
I am’ focuses us on the ‘one thing necessary’…What happens to our ‘hardened’
critical hearts as we say these words?
‘Here I am’ assumes the ‘Other’…so it is no longer just a focus on me
with no dialogical space or sense of the ‘Other’, which we all can so easily
fall into. We are saying ‘here I am’ to
the ‘Other’…to Jesus…to the God of Jesus…‘Here I am’ ready to follow you.’ Here I am ready to give my all this day so
that you may be glorified. Here I am in
my poverty and wounds that can fester so easily…yet still ready to serve…to be
a witness through my life to your Life.
‘Here I am’: saying it with the right intention and with the whole of
our being puts us in an intimate relationship with God…and we are in this
moment bearing witness to the Infinite.
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